Santa Claus conquers the martians
USA, 1964
Director: Nicholas Webster
Screenwriters: Glenville Mareth, Paul L. Jacobson
Film Genre: Science Fiction, Comedy, Adventure, Family, Fantasy, Christmas
Production company: Paul L. Jacobson
Cast:
John Call (Santa Claus / Kris Kringle)
Leonard Hicks (Dropo)
Vincent Beck (Kimar, the Martian King)
Bill McCutcheon (Chochem, the wise Martian)
Pia Zadora (Girmar, the Martian girl)
Victor Stiles (Bomar, the Martian boy)
Bill McCutcheon (Chochem)
Plot
Under the influence of Terran television, the children of Mars are no longer what they used to be. They have fallen into a phase of apathetic melancholy. For while on Earth it is Christmas and a man with a white beard and dressed in red hands out presents, on Mars there is never anything like that. No presents, no toys, no fun, no nothing. Ever since Martian children watched the interview with Santa Claus on their screens shortly before Christmas, an inexplicable sadness has swept across the red planet.
Kimar, the chief of the Martians, decides that measures must be taken. Therefore, he goes with his warriors to ask the advice of a wise old man. He explains to them that what ails the little ones is the absence of Christmas…
Kimar makes a drastic decision: they will go to Earth in their flying saucer and take Santa Claus with them, if necessary by force. The goal is thus to impose Christmas on Mars. “The earthlings have had it too long already, now it’s our turn.” Among the crew members is Voldar, who from the outset is reluctant to give in to the children’s whims and bring them Christmas, because it is a time of peace, and “ours is the planet of war.” Besides, so many gifts would contribute to softening up the lineage. Among the Martians participating in the abduction mission is also the clumsy Drapo.
As the UFO gets closer to Earth, the Martians begin to see not one, but several Santa Clauses… All of them at the doors of different shopping malls in the big cities. Now they don’t know which one is the real one. In addition, their ship is detected by the earthlings. The military is put on high alert for the disturbing presence of a UFO in the skies, and television stations interrupt their programming to report on the strange flying object.
The Martians land, and take a boy and a girl hostage: Siblings Bill and Betty. First, the aliens want to know who the real Santa Claus is. Bill tells them that the real one is not one of those seen in the cities at this time of year, but one who lives at the North Pole. Voldar convinces Kimar to take the children with him, otherwise they might report him and thwart his plan.
Drapo has helped Bill and Betty to hide, and once they land at the North Pole, the children manage to escape from the ship. The Martians search for them everywhere, and activate their robot Tork, who finally captures them again.
Santa Claus works in his workshop preparing and packing the presents together with his helpers the dwarves and his wife Miss Claus. Suddenly Tork, the alien robot, bursts in. Instead of panicking, Santa Claus thinks it’s a great toy. Then the Martians intervene and order Santa Claus to accompany them. The aliens use their stun guns on Santa’s servants and his wife.
Once the initial phase of their mission is completed, they return to Mars with their captive. And also the Earth children Bill and Betty are in the hands of the Martians…
Comment
In these special dates we could not miss the opportunity to review a genuine “masterpiece” of the Christmas subgenre, which merges in a bizarre and hilarious way the “Santaclausian” theme with science fiction.
It is a bit surprising the low score this “little jewel” receives in imdb. Although it can’t be denied that this is a B or Z film, with a very low artistic and technical quality, the proposal is infinitely more entertaining than the anodyne stereotypical Christmas movie.
In this case, Christmas is combined with extraterrestrial movies, very much in the style of the films that were so popular in the previous decade: In the 1950s, B-movies with ufological and alien themes proliferated, especially in the USA. The ufomania of those times had undoubtedly something to do with the widespread fear of flying saucers, almost a collective psychosis, a panic spread in the U.S. as a result of the famous “Nazi UFOs” (not long after the end of the Second World War), which were believed to be hidden in Antarctica (Operation Highjump).
The Martians in this movie wear tight superhero-style caped suits, quirky helmets with antennae… and have faces smeared with something that looks like shoe polish. Santa Claus, meanwhile, features his traditional look (and thankfully a real beard). This is the same actor (John Call) who, in those years, played the endearing, stocky character in the Coca-Cola commercials.
“Santa Claus conquers the Martians” is the first film in which his wife appears, presented as ‘Miss Claus’. Moments after she is paralyzed with Martian pistol beams, Santa Claus says contentedly to his petrified wife, “I can’t remember a time when you were quiet for so long…”
Another humorous moment is the intervention of the “polar bear”, a crudely disguised man… Dropo the helper is reminiscent of Quico from the Mexican series Chavo del Ocho (“Chusma, chusma!”) in the way he talks and grimaces.
A small and underrated classic, a very appropriate viewing for these days. A film, unlike the ones we usually review here, “for the whole family” (and especially for the cinephile family).
(Note: I wrote this review back in 2015, on my former blog Alucine Cinéfago)
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